I am terrified

Today's blog won't be as preppy, cocky or funny as it usually is, bu that is because I am at a majorly terrifying point in my life.

Granted, I am not going through PTSD, neither am I chronically depressed, have been threatened with death or done up a terrible incurable disease. So logically I have no reason to be feeling this way right? And since when have I magically become logical?

Yesterday I finished highschool. Yay! Major success! And I know what I'm doing next year. My accommodation is sorted out. And my parents have saved up enough that I should be able to finish my course without monetary trouble. Sorted.

Now bring into consideration that I have lived in the same house since I was born. I was in the same preprimary for 5 years, the same primary school for 7 years and the same highschool for a further 5 years. My schools have always been small and concentrated. Heck my current highschool had only about 600 learners so each child could get individual attention in class.

Add to that that for the first six months next year I will be in a class the size of my entire highschool and I'm falling apart and realising just how small I am.

Then there is the fact that being part of a close knit community, many of the people I know from preprimary went with me to primary school and from there to highschool. And even those who went to different schools were a few neighbourhoods away. Now we will be going to universities in completely different cities. The few that are attending my university are further divided into courses that take different classes and you end up with even less people you see. Again the fact that classes are now the size of my highschool and bam! chances of seeing someone you know has just become minuscule.

To be honest I guess I'm just terribly afraid of losing my safe and structured controlled environment with individuals I have learned to handle and how to respond to them. I am terrified of realising how small and insignificant I am in the great scheme of things. And I guess I'm scared of going from being a biggish fish in a small pond to a scarily small fish in the ocean.

But like all things I suppose it'll pass and I'll be back to my normal preppy happy self again.

Peace
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The Illusion of Familiarity - My Transition to Internet Stalker

Recently I have discovered a dangerous problem I have.

Immersing yourself in social networks such as Tumblr and Youtube can give you the opportunity to make a myriad of new friends. The problem starts manifesting when you forget that even on something accessible as this there are limitations.

I find myself increasingly attempting to befriend internet celebrities as I would any other person I meet via a social network.

This seems to come from the illusion of familiarity that is created by the internet. These people broadcast their lives publicly. Not a difficult concept to grasp. So do my friends. Oh hey look! I have instant access to the lives of my friends. And to the lives of strangers I find entertaining. Strangers and friends.

Here my brain goes haywire. It used to happen with characters in books and series, but I could never interact inter-personally with those characters. This wonderful thing called the internet not only shows me the lives of these familiar strangers, but also gives me a way of contacting them. Directly. Hey! I can contact my friends directly. I see no reason that these people whose lives I am intimately familiar with and who I can reach with a few key swipes and a simple click.

And bam! I'm a stalker who should be receiving a restraining order through the mail just about now.

I somehow forget that the things these people tweet, post or film are not sent exclusively to me. They are publicly broadcast to millions of other people internationally. I am one single person of a multitude that are reached daily. And beside that which I can learn from their videos or blogs, I do not know anything about these people. I simply am not their "Friend".

I would be lying if I said I was simply a number to them. But I am very unlikely to be more than a name, an occasional comment and an irritating fanmail out of a heap every day.

And I cannot think that I am the only person who struggles with this.

So for those of you out there who have this problem too, I guess all we can do is take a moment to breathe. Step back and realise that these people are, until some weird twist of fate, simply more characters whose stories we can enjoy. And then get back to crossing our fingers and waiting for that reply to the millionth letter we sent to a certain Youtuber ^_~

Peace
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Exam Time is Series Time!!!

We all know the truth of it. There is no larger motivation for procrastination than the looming presence of a test you need to study for. Compile a whole bunch of those in succession and you have no other choice but to leave everything till the last moment, or alternatively lose your sanity.

We all have fun procrastinating in our own ways, so here follows my top 10 favourites :)


1. Watch a Series!
        Oh yes, a wonderfully productive one!
This season's winners are:
Naruto

Naruto Shippuden

Death Note

 2-5. This falls in a major category of the Internet
      2. Youtube
      3. Facebook
      4. Twitter
      5. Tumblr

6. Teaching myself new tunes on the piano... Or at least attempting to.

7. Starting and finishing a new Game
    Assassin's Creed Brotherhood

8. Attempting to start with your designs again.
    Yeah, no comment on that.

9. Oh I don't know. Get fit, get muscles. Do something worthwhile.

10. Writing this blog.

Yes I just went there and yes this was just another way to avoid hitting the books. You're welcome.
Either way, I should really be getting to that.
Peace
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X-Men Days of Future Past. YAY!

I have returned from Limbo!

And I start off immediately by geeking out!

I might have possibly mentioned it in the past, but I don't like superhero movies. They really bug me for some unknown reason. I just can't sit through an entire one (okay, maybe I enjoyed Avengers...).

But there is one exception to this rule. I have always been extremely fond of X-Men (if Wolverine just popped into your head, you are dead to me. No I despise him). Please do note that when I say extremely fond I mean asdfghjkl, I just can't. That being said, I have never read the comics and know very little of the extended universe (cue the burning).

http://tinyheroes.net/2008/09/13/the-second-wave-x-books/

But all of this is only a small introduction for the reason for this post. Ever since First Class, I have been watching the internet anxiously, following the rumours of a new movie, leaked images, footage and cast announcements and all the other buzz. Eventually it got a name. X-Men Days of Future Past.

x-menmovies.com

And now, the Trailer has been released! And again I simply cannot just oh dear asdfghjkl. This has gotten me so damn excited that I barely have words. What I can say is that it looks dark and dramatic and full of crazy mutants. Now THAT'S what I'm talking about.

Don't believe me? See for yourself.


As for me. I think it's obvious that I cannot wait anymore.

Anyway peeps
Peace!

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Phwl Designs: Tribal Fun

Hey hey! Great to be doing one of these again!!!

So the past week, instead of really paying attention in class like I should, I have been playing around with stone age type designs :) (Based on abstract costumes for the orcs from WoW - if they were to be played by humans...)

Design number one can clearly be seen as a man wearing a jaguar as a "cloak" with the normal pants. I usually hate working with animal-materials in my designs, but I really enjoyed playing around a bit with it for a change. The back legs of the jaguar would be removed, so that only the tail (the one you can see rather clearly) sticks through the belt. It retains the earthy Green and Brown of the orcs.

This design obviously drew some inspiration from Native American dress as well as a little feathers stolen from the costume designs of Lord of the Rings's Easterners. Again in the typical green and brown, but incorporating more of the earthy autumn red and yellow. Naturally there had to be a Feathered headpiece

Enjoy the rest of the week!!!

Peace

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Proudly S.A. Gay

This week I would like to state how Proud I am to be a South African Gay man.



This video states for me a very important world issue at the moment: Gay Marriage. These men are fighting for the right to to marry their partners. France recently took the very important step to allowing them this privilege.

I support these men, but this is the moment where I get to brag. South Africa, was only the seventh country internationally to allow gay marriage. It really ignites an amazing burning fire in my heart to know that my country (which is frequently disregarded as a third world country) is ahead of so many first world countries in terms of this right to love.

We are also the first country ever to have an official gay flag:

Now, however, I'm going to moan a bit.

Johannesburg pride has been cancelled for 2014. I turned 18 this year and wanted it to be my first Pride year. I guess I'm just going to have to not have a pride this year. But I'm putting this out there cause I want things to change. Joburg Pride should again become a main calendar event for this city!

Peace

Phwl

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Fresh Meat?

No this Blog is not about the "mixed-meat" worldwide food crisis. It's a whole different concept of meat. (Nor is it for sensitive viewers or readers)

I love it when my friends approach me and tell me: "Hey my one friend just came out of the closet and he'd be great for you". Usually when I use those words it would be considered sarcastic, but right now I honestly mean them.There's something to be said for the gay community. There's a rather big fantasy of seducing a straight boy (AMAZINGLY LARGE MARGINALIZATION), thus someone newly out of the closet is the next best thing.

The freshest meat is always the greatest, isn't it?

You see the freshest meat (talking bout actual meat this time) isn't always that great... Have you ever looked at fresh meat, just from the slaughterer (yes, if you listen well you'll still hear that animal crying)? It's not exactly a pretty sight. You see, fresh meat is bloody. It isn't really shaped yet and you have no idea of what it's going to taste like. Sure. It's a gastronomic (tasty) adventure. But what if it goes wrong?

Because a fridge...

...is just another closet

I think the metaphor is clear enough, but I'll explain anyway. A guy just out of the closet, though very tempting as something new, isn't always the best option. They have a lot of baggage and don't really know where hey fit in yet. They still have so many struggles and you usually get sucked into them. There's always a danger that a newly out guy can revert to the closet before you blink twice. And you have to (sometimes) deal with family blaming you for "what you did to their boy".

All I'm saying is fresh meat isn't always as fresh as it looks.

I myself prefer a well matured steak, ready for to enjoy.

Peace!!!