Perfection is something most of us strive to, it is inherently built into our personalities. A drive to be flawless. Perhaps this is simply a kind of primitive way to compete for a mate, or a drive to be the alpha. Whatever it is, many of us have even been consumed by our drive to perfection.
I am not a perfect person myself, but I have been blessed with a reputation of perfection and I am not the only one. The thing with this illusion of perfection is that it is a fine line of tightrope walking on the edge of a very sharp sword. And you can tumble either way.
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The first side is the isolation brought by perfection. It is terrifying knowing that people see you as someone who is "undesirable" at a social function because you're "too good". People are surprised when you enjoy a party, drink alcohol or touch a cigarette. "I never thought you could actually enjoy yourself". They find it disconcerting that you are interested in hanging out with them, because that would be "less than perfect".
The second is the danger of being consumed by this perfection. A projection of intense perfection towards the outside world. The problem is that this projection lays against your real skin, smothering the real you. Eventually you find yourself doing the right ("perfect") thing instead of what you want, or even wanting to do the "perfect" thing, no matter the consequences. You have no idea of the self anymore, only what is expected of you and you follow this impulse blindly, because that is perfection. And it destroys you.
Ultimately I wish I could say that I have a solution. That we should all just abandon perfection, live our own lives and be broken and wonderful.
But I can't. I'm trapped in a glass cage with a painted image and so are so many out there. The only way to escape from that is to crack it, pry it, break it and eventually smash it. But be aware that glass cuts. abandoning perfection will have it's price.
That's enough depression for this week ^_~
Peace
I am not a perfect person myself, but I have been blessed with a reputation of perfection and I am not the only one. The thing with this illusion of perfection is that it is a fine line of tightrope walking on the edge of a very sharp sword. And you can tumble either way.
\Ultimately I wish I could say that I have a solution. That we should all just abandon perfection, live our own lives and be broken and wonderful.
But I can't. I'm trapped in a glass cage with a painted image and so are so many out there. The only way to escape from that is to crack it, pry it, break it and eventually smash it. But be aware that glass cuts. abandoning perfection will have it's price.
That's enough depression for this week ^_~
Peace
ΙΈ
