Starting out on a journey...

 My excitement is currently casing my mind to implode. why you may ask. it is actually rather simple! i am going on a backpacking tour of my favourite city ever. my hometown Jozi!!!

the plan is to go backpacking through the city, contrasting the horrendously poor slums with the sometimes disturbingly rich areas. but that is not just the point. it is a pilgrims walk over easter. a way to connect with yourself and a higher spiritual power. the point of the pilgrimage is to be a:
pilgrim, not a tourist.
learner, not a teacher.
listener, not a talker.
and a receiver not a giver.

as per usual we have to abide by a set of ruls:
don't complain.
if someone asks, give
if someone gives, receive
if you see a toilet use it (get rid of your physical, mental and emotional waste)
SLOW DOWN!!

i'm totally going to lose it with the last one. i rush everywhere. someone save me :)

And so with the words of one of my favourite songs i begin my journey...

life is a road that I want to keep going
Love is a river, I want to keep flowing
Life is a road, now and forever, wonderful journey
I'll be there when the world stops turning
I'll be there when the storm is through
In the end I wanna be standing
At the beginning with you!!!!!


peace peeps ^_^

Time

ah, the one thing we NEVER have enough of.

i am permanently moaning that i am under too much pressure and that i don't have time to do everything that has to be done, all the projects i don't have time for, the tests i have to study for. and there is never enough time!

but to be absolutely honest, what would i do if i had that time. i would be bored out of my skull. blowing spitbubbles and wondering what my next blogupdate would be about. and to be honest (again), i think i perform better under that "crunch" pressure. and i'm sure most teenagers understand the point that i'm making. that adrenaline rush you have when you realise you still have a project you have to hand in the next day, or the speech you have to give tomorrow.

and i know that that is what i am. human, imperfect, busy and ultimately i am alive...

ooh and this is the part that you ignore cause it's boring. it's the part where i get all preachy (again...). At least when i'm so fucking busy, i don't do drugs, or sleep around or beat people up. i find a creative and energy taxing outlet so i'm not destructive :)

so now that that's dusted
on to the next project!!!
ME XD

What does it matter?

This past weekend I was at a school dance for Valentines day and it was wonderful. Mostly because I was having fun with my friends on some music and just over all enjoying myself. And it was about to get better.

About an hour into the dance a very good friend of mine was gracious enough to borrow me her high heels. And so the fun began. For those out there that do not know me, I'm a gay teen. And I'm horrified of drag <as in pee my pants scared>. But I absolutely LOOOOOOOVE high heels or platforms or boots or pretty much any shoe (gender specifications are irrelevant). And so, to the surprise of my friends I was dancing along in heels better than most of the girls could.

The real rouble came afterwards when I actually started receiving people's opinions. Some of my friends were excited to see me get out of my shell and laughed along to the fun we were having. Those were the reactions that I appreciated most. Others just laughed and shook their heads. Some of the kids only stared. Unfortunately there were those of that had called themselves my friends but had reacted with things like "What the hell are you doing in a GIRL's shoes." or later "I'm glad to see that you finally got out of those ladies' shoes." These comments stung most since they came from people whose opinions I hold dear. And they had unfortunately disappointed horribly. And why? Because they did not want to be associated with a boy who breaks society's rules by wearing heels to a dance?

Why does it have to matter when a guy enjoys wearing heels or platforms. If that's how he gets his confidence boost or truly expresses himself then let him be and be thankful for the fact that he doesn't use make-up or tattoos to express himself. Or that he doesn't feel the need to use Shrooms, Drugs or Alcohol to express himself.

I guess I'm using myself as a metaphor here. Accept people, even with their strange preferences. Because ultimately we are all striving to be accepted.

Wednesday state of mind

Firstly, I'm posting for my second time in 24 hours, after not having posted for almost a month. What just happened??

Now on to the main reason I am blogging. As per usual I woke up at 5:45 am this morning Tuesday 07 February. Except unlike any other morning  my brain had decided that it was Wednesday... And so the trouble began.

Wednesday is NOT my favourite day. It's smack bang in the middle of the week, meaning my enthusiasm has just run out and I am now starting to get very tired, with no happiness for the week ahead. It is also the day on which our maid (NOTE: not SLAVE!!!) has her off day. SO I have to do everything, meaning that I have to clean everything after cooking everything and do everything. (including repeating those tasks for my 15 ear old brother...)

As if this wasn't enough, my mind kept reminding me of the fact that it was today Wednesday and I planned everything around the fact that tomorrow would be Thursday and that Tuesday had somehow magically avoided my notice...

So I came up with a few absolutely ridiculous theories for my condition:

1) I dreamt of having "Tuesday" and thus "experienced" an entire extra day in my dreams.

2) I was drunk last night. So drunk that I never even remember drinking. So the hangover must have caused the mixed dates.

3) And my favourite one: I was abducted by aliens, experienced a whole other day and was brought back in time :)

Either way, it's a problem we all have and we do enjoy them, no matter how frustrating. It just goes to show how powerful our minds can be!

Cheers :)

Trending ?_?

SO to those of you who know, I don't have to explain this blog. but there are those that do not know me. I'm a fashion and design junkie! so i love keeping up with international trends.

So i was watching showbiz report with my notebook and pencil, ready for the year ahead. And the presenter well he presented. "The Trends are luxurious. we will be seeing a lot of feathers and fur."












and i almost fell right over onto my back. excuse me while i puke on this fluffy trend. THEY DON"T WORK! especially not in a hot country like ours

Recently i was chatting with my friend when she suddenly caused a revelation in my eyes. we keep trying to incorporate European or American trends here and thye don't work. you know why? cause we are different from them all we love being oursleves and that's the point! let's start our own SA Fashion Revolution (Preferably on Some hot Weges ;))

I seem to have lost it..

SO like guess what!

I recently did an article for our school newspaper about stereotypes that people use for gay guys.

i had no idea where to begin, thinking that it would be a piece of cake.
Think again! I guess ignoring the jibes and anger and everything, I seem to have grown completely blunted to the entire stereotype thing. Sure it was easy to get one, "they're girly". Unfortunately i was totally lost beyond that...

I guess I'm so busy living out who I am, that I forget how the outside world sees me. Of course this should be the part where I say that the outside world's opinion does not matter. I'm sure you'll all agree with me when I say that that statement is garbage. Don't get me wrong. I'm not saying it should rule your life, but I'm making mine surprisingly difficult by not thinking of how other people might perceive my actions and their intentions.

Anyway, on a lighter note, something for you guys who think it's easy being a minority, I'd appreciate it if you watched this clip.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TFg7ivCSIHA
Those who agree with me are welcome too! :)

Love y'all
Me

Underneath the tree

ah christmas is here and our nostalgia flares up at a dangerous rate. but christmas means many things!
like:

food!!
i just spent a few hours in the kitchen making only the pudding (it has to be in the freezer for four hours). then there is the good old traditional leg of lamb roast and delicious salads. this year we have a bit of a greek feel by adding dolmades to our starters and baba ganouche (a purée of aubergine, mayo, garlic and roasted peppers) as a side. then the smell of baked potato's fills up the meal. finally that tiramisu (after it's four hours in the fridge) is ready and pudding is served.

carols
ooh another lovely tradition. every christmas eve we gather around the tree and sing our carols. deep voices, higher voices and some voices that really should rather not all blend into a surprisingly wonderful cacophony to praise the one who came for us (and if you don't believe in that stuff, at least to bond as a family, you know, spread the christmas spirit!!!)

gifts!
ah what would christmas be without the gifts. in our home, decorating the tree is a whole ritual in itself. each decoration has it's own story and we talk of memories long past as we hang each. then the presents start to appear, this year modestly wrapped in newspapers (we joined the green movement). already you can identify the annual christmas book i receive and the car my brother is going to get. mum will no doubt receive some bath essentials (soap or foam or salt) and dad cookies and chilli sauce. and so it has been and so it will be... for who knows how long?

ultimately, christmas is the event of the year that makes me feel old so much more than birthdays do. time flies when you sitting under a christmas tree <chopped from a peach tree>